>> I've decided to go home to Florida for the long weekend -- we get Friday afternoon and all of Monday off at work, so it's a good time to do it, and I didn't have any hot Fourth of July plans anyway. (That said, I'll be back in the late afternoon on Monday, so if any of my people -- you know who you are -- have evening plans, I can probably make them.)

It is sad, however, that the main reason I'm going back is because my parents just bought an iMac G5 and I want to play with it, right?

>> ...every single time you walk in (which, since you are a disgusting slob, is fairly often), your local McDonald's is playing Jay-Z's "The Takeover" at extremely high volume over the speakers. Unedited. (The seven-year-olds in front of me were not scandalized, it bears noting.)

>> On the G train home today I found myself seated across from a mentally troubled man who could not stop smiling. It was actually very upsetting. He had a very cheerful smile, so he didn't look sinister, but occasionally the smile would dip a bit and you could tell that his facial muscles were really somewhat exhausted but his brain was continuing to shout "NO! NO! KEEP SMILING GODDAMMIT! KEEP SMILING!" He was pawing through a giant stack of books from the Queens borough library, and was occasionally nodding his head vigorously in agreement with them. I'm pretty sure he was talking out loud as well, but I was listening to the Smashing Pumpkins' Greatest Hits (of course) on my iPod and was therefore completely insulated. Which is probably sad, I guess, but at the time I really didn't mind.

So, uh, hi everybody. I know I don't say much about what's going on in my life here anymore. That's because, to be honest, there really isn't much. I go to work, I come home, I sleep. (There's been some elements of a social life, don't get me wrong -- I haven't withdrawn from the human race -- but nothing thrilling or worth writing about here.) I've been going to the gym at least twice a week, but unfortunately this week marked the end of my personal-training sessions and I really, really can't afford to pay for any more. Subtle hints to my parents about how sad this made me went nowhere, unfortunately. I'm hoping that I'll be able to push myself into working out at a satisfactory level without the trainer; the current plan is to ramp up to three days a week, and we'll see how that goes. I must admit, I'm already starting to see and feel some definite results, so a total sense of gym ennui definitely hasn't set in; I'm really getting quite excited about what could happen if I really stick with it, but when I'm actually there and it's just so painful and uncomfortable, my ardor obviously dims. That's why the trainer was so great. You don't get to say "Ah, two sets will do" when you have them standing right behind you. Perhaps I should create a borderline-schizophrenic offshoot of my personality who will stand behind me shouting "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! OBLIVIOOOON!" while spittle-flecks fly from his imaginary mouth. I'm sure everyone else at the gym will appreciate it when I swear at him and try to engage him in fisticuffs next to the chest press.

Money, obviously, is tight, so I haven't really been splurging on leisure activities or music or anything of the sort. When I was at MoCCA I bought the new Daniel Clowes book, Ice Haven, which was excellent, and his panel discussion with Jonathan Lethem was pretty great too. My last music purchases netted the CDs you see on the right. I'm happy with all of them, if you were wondering about commentary. And of course I saw Batman Begins (though I didn't have to pay, neener neener neener), and I really, really liked it -- and I'm not just saying that because I'm in public and you all know who I'm bought and sold by. I definitely thought it was the best of the Batman movies (though it's not very far ahead at all from the Burton ones, which I also enjoy), although it did have a few irritating aspects. The final action sequence was just too implausible and goofy-Hollywood for me, as were certain elements of the script, like the dozen or so reflexive lines that constantly doubled back on themselves and smacked you over the head with their "cleverness." But those are honestly small complaints for what I consider to be an A- movie, and you should all go see it if you haven't yet; I guarantee you'll be entertained (as long as you're not expecting a zany campfest). The acting is universally superb (even Katie "Had Enough Of Me Yet?" Holmes is acceptable, even if she is the weakest link), and it definitely sets up a new and very strong Batman universe that I'm really, really, really looking forward to seeing explored.

And as for the big issue... yes, I am slowly getting over Josh. It gets a little bit easier every day, I think, though it's still quite hard. We've spoken a bit (though we haven't seen each other since May), which has... well, I hesitate to say it's helped, but it has clarified some things that could pay off as a release of trauma somewhere down the line. So there's that, I guess. At the moment I feel like it would be nice to go on some dates or something; on the one hand, it's probably far too soon to be thinking about a steady relationship, but on the other, it'd be nice to have a good time with nice guys and be given that little ego boost that says yes, you are a decent person and it's possible for someone to appreciate what you have. I was so happy being in a relationship that it's really not easy at all to adjust to a world where I don't have somebody at my side, even in a casual way. My only real option is to keep on doing what I'm doing -- go to work, go to the gym, go to sleep -- and let my confidence and heart slowly grow back one hour at a time. It ain't fun but it's what's gotta be done.

>> I know, I'm boooo-ring. I've got yet another motherfucking cold (they officially come once every three months now, it seems), so I'm spending most of my time with the DayQuil (August's primary obsession, it sometimes seems) and BitTorrented episodes of the current Doctor Who. (It's faboo!) I became eligible for sick days at work this week (bye-bye, four-month probationary period!), but I'm not gonna squander any of them so quickly. So I'll just plod hazily along. Check back later.

>> After an absurd amount of UPS wrangling (moral of the story: don't ever have anything delivered to you via UPS if you're not sure you'll be home to get it), some bloodied fingertips (my, these edges are sharp), and a couple of minor heart attacks (it's gonna fall right out the window, isn't it), I'm shooting-off-in-my-pants ecstatic to announce that our new air conditioner is here and is installed and is chilling the fuck out of our living room. Meanwhile, our old air conditioner is now in a new spot, chilling the living beejeezus out of my bedroom. I never knew it was possible to shiver with joy, but that's what I'm a-doin'.

Maybe I'll actually blog again now, since I'm not afraid to move my fingers rapidly across the keyboard anymore. (Before, you see, that made me sweat too much.)

>> My fucking fan just broke -- it fell over and one of the blades snapped clean off. It's ninety degrees in my bedroom (no, the new A/C unit is not here yet, though I ordered it). I want to fucking die.