02.23.2003 | Daredevil

>> Seen on February 13th, 2003 at Odeon Marble Arch, London

What a fucking terrible movie. What an absolutely God-awful movie. What a steaming pile of shit this movie is.

I've known for months. I suppose I can break the silence now -- while I was working at my internship, I got a chance to see a tape of two scenes from the film several months in advance, since they wanted to have Moby on the soundtrack (they did end up doing so, by the way, with the essentially pleasant "Evening Rain," which was previously unreleased). Those two scenes blew. And they blew pretty hard. They were just character-development scenes, but it was already obvious that the film was over-directed, badly scripted, and brutally miscast. What I didn't know was that the film on the whole would also be terribly edited, ridiculously plotted, equipped with miserable special effects, and be as boring as dry white toast -- things like that can't be deduced from two clips, y'see. But the finished product is all of those things and more.

Let's start with the cast. Ben Affleck is serviceable, at best, as Daredevil (I say "Daredevil" only because the Matt Murdock alter-ego is pathetically underused), adding very little beyond a square jaw and his usual out-of-character smirk. Jennifer Garner is utterly lacking in personality -- it's one thing to play Elektra as something other than the stone-cold ice-queen she is in the comics, but you'd better replace it with something other than a vacant stare and a fat-lipped smile. When she puts on black leather and starts trying to kick ass, it's almost laughable, since her every previous scene has been shot with a nice-girl reverence so pathetic you'd expect clip art of kittens and bunnies to be superimposed around the border of every frame while the My Little Pony theme song plays in the background. Michael Clarke Duncan is utterly atrocious as the Kingpin; he would have been an interesting casting choice if Duncan hadn't decided to play him as a grinning maniac who looks like he wants to rape you with every passing moment. Colin Farrell, on the other hand, applies exactly the same manner to Bullseye and almost -- almost -- pulls it off; he's still too hammy to truly be respected, but he's the only character in the film who seems to be enjoying himself (we know this is not true, of course, as the film blows goats and could not possibly have been enjoyed by anyone involved except, perhaps, its cretin director who seems to think he's done a good thing, but Farrell's a good enough actor to make us believe he's having fun). There's a spark there, but it's the only one in the film.

The script is a string of hard-boiled cliches with no discernible plot. The visual direction is ludicrous; not only is the wire-fu truly abominable (I turned to Jeremy with a grimace of bitter irony during the climactic fight scene and said "Remember back in the old days when one character would throw another character, and the director would cut on it so that it actually looked like they'd been propelled through the air instead of yanked on a rope, and we could believe in it and engage with the action? Man, didn't that suck?"), but the color pallette is over-saturated and the so-called "iconic" images are just parodic in their derivativeness. The visual effects are preposterously bad -- if you don't have the budget to make a giant set-piece such as, oh, I don't know, a church organ that two characters fight on, look realistic, then don't put it in the movie.

I'm gonna run out of negative superlatives sometime soon, so I'm just gonna let this grind to a dead halt. Please believe me when I say that I'm not speaking with the bias of a comic-book fan; the hilarious thing about the film is that they really are largely faithful to the comic. They just misinterpret it and treat it with a noirish reverence that parodies the material instead of glorifying it. This is the kind of movie I would've made about Daredevil if I was eleven years old. It is the worst film that I've seen in a movie theatre in going on five years; it's of Battlefield: Earth caliber. Do not ever give it your money, in any way, shape, or form, or I will find you and punish you. 'Nuff said.


02.23.2003 | Pet Shop Boys - DISCO 3

>> 

Tracklisting:
  1. Time On My Hands
  2. Positive Role Model
  3. Try It (I'm In Love With A Married Man)
  4. London (Thee Radikal Blaklite Edit)
  5. Somebody Else's Business
  6. Here (PSB Extended Mix)
  7. If Looks Could Kill
  8. Sexy Northerner (Superchumbo Mix)
  9. Home And Dry (Blank & Jones Mix)
  10. London (Genuine Piano Mix)
I have purchased my first copy-protected CD. And man, has it pissed me off.

If I'd just been paying attention, I would've noticed. The back of the package has a rather large (and ugly -- the text is all pixelated) notice that says "Copy Controlled." Which, as all good Mac users know, means "Won't work in your computer at all, and there's a good chance it'll kill your disc drive for shits 'n' giggles." There's even a list of System Requirements for playing the disc on your computer. No Mac operating system is mentioned. So I can't even soothe myself with righteous wrath -- "false advertising," "infringement of rights," etc. It was clearly telling me what it was -- technically, it's not a CD; the CD-Audio logo isn't anywhere on the packaging as it doesn't conform to the technical standards of a CD -- but I bought it anyway.

So, predictably, when I stick it in my laptop, it gets shot right back out. But then I try sticking it in my Discman to listen to it.

I did some research once I figured out it was copy-protected. I found this remarkably useful site which described the disc's problems (and also lists other corrupted CDs worldwide -- caveat emptor!). Apparently, the first copies to be released had an audio fault that caused a gap in the music during the first track, "Time On My Hands." I listened to my copy on my Discman and heard no gap. At least I dodged that bullet, right? But wait -- track 2, "Positive Role Model," begins. And all of a sudden the disc starts skipping. Second-long pauses begin cropping up at random throughout the music. I stop the CD and start playing it again -- it happens again, at different points in the song. This continues throughout the disc's running time, and some songs are hit harder than others. Track 6 is the worst off. Eventually, I figure it out. My CD player is doing everything it can to read the information encoded on the disc, but because it's not an ordinary CD, it just has to work too hard, and eventually, the processor has to pause to catch up.

So the only CD player I have with me here in the UK can't play this disc, which I spent ten pounds on, properly. Brilliant.

EMI is providing free replacement copies to anyone who bought one of the "damaged" discs with the audio gap on track one (If you have the CD, you'll find more info at the Pet Shop Boys' website). I'm wondering if I can send in for a replacement copy of mine, and if so, if I'll get one that'll work for me. I was looking at the album the other day at another shop, and many copies now don't carry the "Copy Controlled" logo -- does this mean they're not copy-controlled, or that the record company is just hiding it now? If I'd been patient and waited another week (I'd already bought it a week after it came out), would I have gotten a copy that I could listen to on my iPod with no problems whatsoever?

There's ever so much to be said on this subject, but I'll stop myself. I'll content myself with this: And the recording industry wonders why people dislike them so much.

So. From what I've heard of the actual music on the disc -- y'know, the thing that I wanted when I bought it that the record company seems uninterested in delivering to me -- it's pretty fuckin' great. I ended up growing fond of the luke-warm rock on Release, I'll be honest, but this disc does, largely, wipe the floor with that album. "Time On My Hands" is relatively unimpressive (and maybe it's just me, but I keep hearing glitchy noises in the mix all throughout -- is it just my copy, or is that in the master of the song itself?), but "Positive Role Model" is hilarious, "Somebody Else's Business" would be a strong pop single, and Felix Da Housecat's "London" remix takes very little from the original song but winds up sounding fantastic anyway. Go figure.

There are two absolute stunners, though. The first is "Try It (I'm In Love With A Married Man)," a Bobby Orlando remake. A post on my relationship to the sexual politics of the Pet Shop Boys would be an entirely different can of worms... But the sheer gayness of this song excites me so fucking much. I know how utterly ridiculous that sounds. But there's something really subversive and spectacular about the sensation of longing that the PSBs put into this song, this peculiarly male desparation and weakness, and the way it makes itself known. Neil Tennant's vocal on this makes me quiver, and the robo-pulse of the programming is strangely beautiful... I'm not making much sense, and I know this is a position that in reality, only a gay guy is going to understand. But this is a great fucking song. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself -- there's an MP3 available right here at DYFL.com (for a limited time only).

The other winner is "Here." Originally on Release, it was extended and drastically remixed for inclusion on this album, and it sounds utterly fantastic. If they'd just slipped this one fiery, passionate, ecstatic dance monster into the middle of Release, nestled amongst all the Johnny Marr acoustica and cold synth washes, it'd be a much better album. Again, there's something very visceral and emotional that I respond to in this song... undoubtedly it's connected to my extraordinarily confused romantic state at the moment (The same thing that makes me respond to "Try It...," though may I stress that you should not take that connection literally), but again, the sentiment of love, domesticity, and reassurance at the core of this song speaks huge volumes to me. Your mileage may vary.

The third-party remixes of "Sexy Northerner" (never a great song to begin with) and "Home And Dry" (certainly a great song to begin with) are appealing, but not astonishing, and "If Looks Could Kill" is probably fourth in quality of the five originals on the album, nestled in between "Positive Role Model" (which is quite strong) and the aforementionedly lackluster "Time On My Hands." The piano-driven mix of "London" (the only non-dance track) that closes the disc is also pleasant, but not world-shaking. All in all, though, it's a pretty great collection of music. It's just a shame I can't properly listen to it.

(Update, 02.28.2003: Hallelujah! Fiona graciously agreed to make me a CD-R of her copy, so I could at least import the songs onto my iPod, and I received it today. In return, I get to go CD shopping for her here in the UK for the stuff she can't get back home. CD shopping is, of course, something I'd be doing anyway, so I get to have fun AND pay her back! Life is good sometimes. And you should all thank Fiona too, because she made the MP3 of "Try It..." that you can all download possible.)

Links:
  • AllMusic Guide Listing
    (No review posted)
  • Amazon - US
    "...the new material stands out, making one wish they'd kept going..."
  • Amazon - UK
    "...the liveliest music the duo have made in years..."
  • N.M.E. Review
    "...unfair to accuse them of jumping on the electroclash bandwagon when they put the wheels on it in the first place"


02.20.2003 | Midnight's Children (RSC)

>> Seen on February 19th, 2003, at the Barbican, London

(This entry is adapted from an essay written for one of my NYU in London classes, Modern Drama In Performance; therefore, it still smells of an overly academic and despicably dry writing style. Forgive its many faults; I just didn't have the mental acuity required to really re-phrase what I had to say about the show...)

Midnight's Children is one of my absolute favorite novels. I came in to see the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production with a firmly-established love of the characters, themes, plot devices, novelistic structures, and overall sensibility of Rushdie’s work, and a very strong (but guarded) optimism that it could translate to a live theatre event (despite the novel’s being a work of such astonishing “prosiness,” for lack of a better term). I left, however, a bit disappointed. The company had taken on a ridiculously challenging task – this was, far and away, the most ambitious piece of theatre I’ve seen in London, in terms of the logistics of its storytelling, its play with forms, and the unique character of its source material – and had met it in some surprising and intelligent ways, but overall their rendition missed out on the feel of Rushdie’s novel.

The playscript was derived from a television screenplay adaptation of the novel written by Rushdie himself (originally commissioned by the BBC); when production on that screenplay fell through, Rushdie decided to rework the piece in partnership with the play’s eventual director, Tim Supple, and the dramaturg Simon Reade. Rushdie’s original novel clocks in at well over 500 pages in length, covering most of the 20th century and the lives of four generations; a three-hour stage adaptation required massive trimming, and on the whole, the new script’s cuts were surprisingly judicious. I expected major characters and plot points to be removed, but all the most significant and potentially powerful personages and situations were left intact. I was bothered by some choices (the manner in which the Sinais’ significant financial troubles are seemingly forgotten by the script was irritating, and resulted in a missed opportunity to more vividly render Saleem’s childhood), but on the whole, the staggering sweep of events Rushdie included on the page are included in the play.

But this is both a strength and a weakness. In the production’s determination to not over-simplify, and to capture the carnivalesque, always-metamorphosising, onto-the-next-scene nature of Rushdie’s plot, they drowned out the human qualities of the work. The parade of characters and set-ups was universally pitched too high, and each one simply formed a shrill pile of over-mannerised, hammily-acted scenes. A character walks onto the stage, projects what is unique about them quickly (generally in a loud, booming voice, or with an otherwise super-stylized or heightened performance), has a moment to influence the action, and is swept away – sometimes quite literally – by the change to the next scene. While Rushdie manages to get away with this in the novel simply by nature of the width of his canvas – each of these scenes and personalities can be given a fair bit of breathing room in a novel of almost half-a-thousand pages – the play packs too much into one period of time, even with a generous length of three-plus hours (with intermission). While it would, in all likelihood, have been commercial suicide, performing the play in two nights would have been a much, much better idea. If they'd done so, we would've gotten a real play, with scenes and moments that would stand up and breathe, instead of a whirlwind summary.

The important question here is not one of bad directorial decisions made – in fact, most of the creative choices are extraordinarily sound – it’s simply a question of execution. Duplicating the “overpopulation” of the novel is a wise decision, as it is in no way a story about a small, intimate family group; Rushdie has said the novel’s original aim was to figure out how to “write a crowd." The problem with this choice lies in finding the way to put a sense of figures jostling for space and crowding each other out for attention onto the stage without inundating, overstimulating, and irritating the audience. Rushdie does this successfully in the novel through the adoption of his extraordinarily purple – and, IMHO, charming – prose style which quickly makes it clear that all manner of digressions, character portraits, and questionable asides are welcome. The play’s relentless charge through the events of the novel prohibits such a leisurely approach, and several critical sequences suffer: Saleem’s discovery of his telepathic power, for example, was so rushed as to seem almost incomprehensible to anyone unfamiliar with that development's importance to the story.

The mixed-media elements of the show were also only partly successful; but again, this is more a question of execution. A giant video screen formed the backdrop of the stage, and on the whole, using film was a clever and ingenious decision to supplement the ongoing action, since much of it simply could not have been rendered onstage by live human beings. Incorporating the medium of film is entirely appropriate to the novel (which itself steals rather a lot of cinematic techniques), and is also a clever way to combat, through the use of monumentally large images, the monumental size of the Barbican’s playing space. While some of the cinematic segments stiffed a bit (the Midnight’s Children themselves were surprisingly under-played and under-realized by the their relegation to the cinema-screen backdrop), some moments worked superbly: the presentation of Hanif’s film The Lovers Of Kashmir, for example, followed through hilariously on one of the novel’s most brilliant visual ideas; and Saleem’s screwball fantasy about his ultra-Muslim sister performing a racy nightclub version of “Paper Moon” introduced a surprisingly playful sensibility to the second act.

The surprising nature of this sequence leads into my main criticism of the show: there was no time in it for the sense of "play" that the novel thrives on. The book simply could not exist without its stream of bad puns, hilariously tortured linguistics, and historical faults and hiccups (Rushdie did, in fact, deliberately sabotage the accuracy of his Indian history to prevent Western readers from taking it as a factual account). The stage production, in its aforementioned steamroller drive to plunge through all of the novel’s events, often missed out on chances to duplicate the sensations of the novel. Its more serious moments came through very strongly – Saleem’s castration scene, for example, was truly brutal on-stage and accomplished the seemingly impossible task of making the novel’s harrowing “The widow is green her teeth are black” monologue even more insanely dark and heartbreaking. But with the exception of the scenes mentioned above, the novel’s comedic qualities were drowned out by the sheer clamor of what was occurring on stage. Most of the humor came from cheap one-liners, as opposed to complicated linguistic play, and such shining character moments as Reverend Mother’s language-warping release of hostilities -- the birth of the “whatshisname” running gag – are passed over without explanation and not given the chance to blossom into something truly amusing.

The one-note portrayal of most characters did not impress the actors on me. It took me some time -- most of the first act, in fact -- to warm to Zubin Varla as Saleem (especially in the play’s clunky opening scenes, in which the script ham-fistedly throws out several of Saleem’s defining catchphrases -- “Please believe I am falling apart,” etc. -- without much believable set-up), but he truly proved himself in the second act, rendering Saleem’s descent into desperation, and tenuous half-rebirth, with a spectacular performance. Both Sameena Zehra as Padma and Meneka Das as Mumtaz/Amina also had strong moments, but didn't distinguish themselves in their (integral) roles as much as I might've liked. The rest of the cast faded into a blur of costume changes and overly stylized performance.

I wasn't strongly disappointed by the production, only mildly, because I was reasonably sure that the creative forces behind the play understood the core values of the novel and were doing what they could to try to articulate them. The production was not a mis-reading in the theoretical sense. It was mounted, I gathered, almost unbelievably quickly – rehearsals began in late November for a late January opening in previews, and the text and shape of the play continued to change all the way through the preview performances, which leads me to believe that the play is still a work in progress and was in need of more time to refine its approach. One of its finest moments – the aforementioned Jamila / “Paper Moon” sequence – came into shape late in the rehearsal process (according to the assistant director at the post-show discussion that I stayed for), which can only make me wonder what other successful innovations the cast and crew could have introduced to the performance if they'd been given more time to play with the text and find ways to reconcile its zany, unconventional senses of humor and pathos with the needs of a stage production that is almost epic in scope. The production is a notable accomplishment, but doesn't deliver the absolutely mind-blowing experience that the novel provides.

The production's coming to the U.S. soon -- Ann Arbor, MI and New York at the Apollo Theatre. If you know and love the book, it's certainly worth seeing, if only for the ways in which it points out the novel's strengths without, sadly, replicating them. Do go see it, it's a pretty remarkable undertaking, but don't expect to be really blown away by a night of "great" theatre -- just an interesting one.

Links:



Back to top >>